Soul Searching

(I took this pic when i was on my last foto outing with the man i was sure 'the one')

Tell people everyday that you love them and how blessed you are that they are in your life. Life is too fucking short. There are trials and tribulations to get through. Sometimes I don't handle them very well. Raw emotion (ie: the Devil) causes me to say things that are very venomous sometimes. Of course I always regret it soon after. So I love you guys, ok?

I tend to be very hard on myself as well, (so I dish out the shit evenly, lol), and basically hate my life most of the time. Especially the last few weeks. I hate feeling hopeless, without value, and just fucking sad. This is not who I am.

Furthermore, this is not a pity post so do not misinterperet it as one, ok? I am just writing from my heart. I'll make a pity party post sometime soon if I don't start feeling better by the end of next week. Then you can see what a pity post Lilly style looks like.

So, If I leave here tomorrow, I want people (including my blog/internet/and those of you who know me in real life) to know that I regret anything I said or did to cause you to be/have hurt, or any sort of negative emotions. (this even includes you in Raleigh). I'm not perfect, I am trying to do my best at keeping the Devil at bay, and moreover, I hope that I am forgiven.