05120501: May 2006

Railroad

Trains.

Random Things

"Plant Farms" are cool places. I need to go back again, with my "big gun". All I had was my small unreliable "little gun", but they turned out ok.

This photo by the oldest son.

Letter to Kenneth Wayne

This may seem a LOT crazy, but I had to get this off my mind.

Even though time passes, I will never forget.
You are always in my head. Lately it seems more than ever.
I think about something funny that we did,
that you said, or did, or just some crazy circumstance(s)we found ourselves in.
I remember with my heart filled with happiness. Reminding me what pure love REALLY is. Your phone calls at all hours of the day and night, with nothing really to say, except, I love you. Especially near the end of our time together.
The messages left on my voice mail of music, songs you specially chose just for me.
The cards you gave me, for every holiday, occasion, and sometimes for no reason at all. The pretty things you shopped for me.
Oh how I miss you. Hearing your voice, your laugh, the tales of your adventures. Listening to you tell about OUR adventures. You sure had a way with words. Always made me laugh. Our inappropriate laughter was the best. We got quite good at it.
Even after 4 years, I catch myself wanting to pick up the phone and call you. I just want to hear your voice, to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. I wonder what you would have to say about my life today. I know you always knew that I could do it on my own. You always said I could. Infact, you told me that I would. You SAW things in dreams, and would tell me about the future. Without dreams you would reassure me that I would find a man who would treat me like the queen that you said that I was, and love me in many of the same ways that you did. I remember scoffing on that comment, and on the subject in general, and you would always make me look you in the eyes, and tell me it was true.
You were my source of refuge in the storm. My joy. My hope. My inspiration.
My best friend. My bookend. We always "KNEW".
I was so blessed to have you in my life. I miss you.

PS These words do not even begin to describe the despair, anguish and grief that my heart feels these days without you here with me.

Doing What I Love

REPOST FOR ZIP!!!

It's funny the twists and turns life takes sometimes.
All of my life, (the majority of which was spent with someone who could give a rats ass about my photography) I have wanted to do nothing but walk around in different places taking pics. Sounds crazy I know, such a silly little dream, but it was really the only dream I ever had in my entire life. When you live how I lived, there was no time for such "nonsense" as dreaming...
Anyway, I have been able to do the very thing I have always dreamt of, the past month or so. Just walking around, shooting whatever I "saw". Nobody hurrying me. Experiencing for the first time in my life, TOTAL FREEDOM. Moreover, I've had FUN.